The internet has backed a woman for checking her husband’s pants before putting them in the wash.
In a new viral post published to Reddit’s infamous “AmITheA**hole” forum, a woman under the username u/Leigh20220 posed the question “AITA for searching my husband’s pants without asking him first?” The post has over 10,000 likes and 3,000 comments.
While doing the laundry, the Redditor was searching through her husband’s work pants to make sure there was nothing left in the pockets before putting it in the wash.
“My husband just happened to walk by and when he saw me searching his pants pockets. He rushed in yelling at me to put his pants down. I already had a folded piece of paper out but he snatched it then started screaming at me about how I have no respect for his privacy and that I shouldn’t be getting my hands on his things. I was genuinly dumbfounded I told him to take it easy I alwaye do this before laundry,” she wrote.
He got angry with her and said she should have asked him first as he was afraid that there was “important documents” stuffed in his pants. She told him that important documents like the small piece of paper, shouldn’t be folded up his his work pants. After asking him what was on the paper, he refused to show her.
She wrote, “I asked why and he said I don’t get to ask him jack s*** after I disrespected his privacy. I almost laughed because what privacy does he have in pockets? It wasn’t like a stranger was digging into them.”
Privacy is important in a relationship, but some requests for privacy can appear suspicious.
“Each partner is allowed a certain degree of personal privacy. That’s healthy and normal in a good relationship,” relationship expert Susan Winters told Elite Daily. “When the partner is hiding something from you, there’s a problem.”
“It means that your mate is fearing your reaction. Hiding information is a protective move. Either your partner fears your reactivity, or they’ve done something so horrific that you’ll (rightly) be upset,” she continued.
Some signs to look out for are a change in typically normal things including the way they text, their emotions and if they become more vague about what they do.
Winters explained what to do if one experiences this with their partners.
“In healthy relationships, we have to be able to communicate without fear of repercussion. If either partner feels unsafe in revealing the truth, they’ll hide the truth,” she said. “Establishing ground rules for safety in truth telling is a foundational principle for healthy partnership. Though you may not like what they have to say, it’s far better that you know what’s going on.”
Since the predicament, the couple hasn’t spoken. She revealed that he purchased his own personal closet with a lock on it to “teach her a lesson” to not look in other people’s clothes.
“NTA. He’s obviously hiding something. No sane person with nothing to hide locks up their clothes. It’s completely normal to go through pockets when doing the laundry, either to take out forgotten cash or receipts,” u/MiruTheSloth wrote in the top comment, with 11,000 upvotes. “I’m willing to bet there was a phone number on that piece of paper.”
“NTA. Checking pockets for things that don’t go in the washer is one of the first steps of laundry, it’s not snooping. That’s a really weird reaction,” u/cassanthrax commented.
U/MadPiglet42 said, “NTA and bonus? Husband does his own d**n laundry from now on! THAT SAID, there are some big red flags waving here and you should look into lawyering up because I don’t think this marriage is going to last.”
“NTA but that man is CHEATING cheating,” u/Crocodiles_Hoe wrote.
“You are going to completely stop doing any laundry at all for him going forward right?That should teach him a little bit of respect. And oh ya, he’s lying to you about something,”u/esmithedm explained.